[he takes a deep breath, trying to center himself against the wave of words that he just got from her. he has to try and be calm and reassuring. that'll definitely help.]
I've just been thinking, about a lot of things. About the way I've acted in the past.
[ This is so weird. This is the weirdest conversation she's ever had with him, and she's literally had a conversation where she called bullshit on his tragic backstory for him being a ginger ninja. Christ.
Gwen's not even remotely convinced this isn't some weird kind of trick. But somehow she figured he'd sound less genuine than this? He'd soak it up, wouldn't he? ]
And you're... just now realizing that you're a jerk? Is that what you're saying?
[i mean, it's not like it makes it any easier to be told it like that. but she's right - he has been a jerk. to her, especially. and that's, honestly, just like the tip of the iceburg]
[he's not sure he knows how to explain it either. maybe he does - but that seems existentially problematic. it's not that he wants to lie to her about the whole mirror thing, it's more that...he doesn't want it to be true. that this is only part of what Dil contacted them about. that he's not real, otherwise.
maybe it's not a lie. or if it is, maybe a lie to prove you exist, to prove you're real, is worth something. besides, in that case, you're lying to yourself more than you're lying to anyone else.]
I mean, maybe it's the city doing something weird. Like the jukeboxes...?
[ Growing a conscience seems a little more hardcore than playing music that speaks to their souls and tragic backstories. But then that's assuming what he's saying is true, which is a little hard to believe, even for how honest Matt sounds right now. ]
So let me get this straight. You had a weird change of heart, and now you wanna give me more power ups because... you're sorry? That's it?
[ Ah yes, the patented Matt Murdock self-loathing, a power to rival the sun with its sheer volume and mass. ]
Ugh, just. Stop. Shut up if you're gonna keep talking like that. I think I liked it better when you at least pretended to be nice. That was normal.
[ She takes a deep breath. ]
If you're really offering though... I'm not gonna turn down free power ups. You wanna meet in the park or something? And I swear if this turns out to be some kind of trap, I'm gonna... web you to a lamp post or something.
[ I mean, her webs dissolve fairly quickly so it wouldn't be that cruel a punishment. She wouldn't actually punch him when he's her only source of powers. ]
[ Jesus christ, Matthew Michael Murdock, get a hold of yourself. ]
Fair enough. [ Gwen sighs. She starts packing up her things while she talks. ] Though I doubt I'll run into anything that needs super strength... But maybe I've been lucky, I haven't seen any of those monsters I keep hearing about.
[ This is probably a trap!! But on the off chance that it isn't, well. She's gotta. ]
[ yeah, that's just the right amount of foreboding and creepy that lets her know this is still Matt, deep down... but the fact that he didn't crack an awful joke or make a single blind pun during their entire conversation is Troubling.
But not troubling enough for Gwen to turn back now. She makes her way to the park in her regular sweats. She's not going to advertise that Spider-Woman is here and working with Matt Murdock, duh. ]
Okay, Gwen. It's probably, definitely a trap but... you can do this.
[ Her spider-sense still works sometimes, right? It would definitely let her know if Murdock was about to turn a corner and run at her with a ninja star, right? ]
no who are we kidding she gets the same mirror matt that she got on the phone - for now at least. hopefully her luck doesn't run dry before he gives her the goods. but he doesn't smile at her, or crack a joke or anything. he's just very serious. and very tired looking, too.]
[ The lack of his ever-present smirk sets off alarm bells in Gwen's mind. This is so wrong. She stares at Murdock in shock, not quite over the weird emotional 180 that he displayed both over the watch and now in person.
What. The. Hell. ]
Wow. You really must be sick, Murdock. Where's the sarcasm or the gloat about how I should know better than to show up?
[he turns his head away from her, letting the word trail off and disappear while he puts together his thoughts. it's hard, to make a good case for this when at every step she seems more troubled, when this is better. this has to be better than the way he'd been doing things. than being all of your own worst enemies rolled up into one.
he can't fix it all. he knows that. but gwen...he can fix things with gwen, and that has to be something. that has to be a step in the right direction.]
[ Gwen still eyes him warily, though she steps closer anyway. If this is some weird temporary insanity, she'll be glad to take the power ups and run. ]
You feel bad for all the stuff you've done? Something tells me that's one heck of a list.
[the should should be so obvious - in the timbre of his voice, in the look on his face, in the weight of his shoulders. it's a ledger that's filled and filled in blood. in needless deaths and cruelties. in torture and in lies.]
But I can't -- [his voice catches. no, he stops himself. stops as he gets too emotional and he tries to reign it in. it probably doesn't work as well as he thinks it does.] I can't fix that. I can't undo all those things.
[ She's never, ever seen him so... upset. Like, obviously upset. Any time Murderdock gets even close to showing emotion, he opts for terrifying instead. This whiny, self-loathy bullshit is very strange indeed. And it's honestly even creepier than his regular cheeriness. ]
What's your point? [ Seriously, all he's doing is... being pathetic. This is almost embarrassing. The less time she spends around this Matt, the better. He's bizarre and Gwen doesn't like it. ] Do you have the power ups or what?
[he's surprised, that she doesn't want any part of it, when she deserved so many apologies. when she had been asking for so long for him to be less creepy. he reaches into his pocket to grab the contain with the power ups and pulls them out and
like it was ever going to be that easy
the mirror magic is unstable. mirror matt pulls out the container and just as he does the magic shifts and so, too, does his whole body language. he relaxes, becomes so much more lighter and then...
well, and then, understandably confused. his eyes narrow behind his glasses and his fingers tighten around the container with the power ups. the fuck is this, ruby city?? he has a vague sense - a sense that he'd come here to talk to gwen for a reason and this disgusting, bitter aftertaste of guilt (not to mention the obvious mess of emotions gwen is projecting) but the specifics are harder to recall.
seriously, not cool, city.]
So I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this has to do with Dil's message.
[it helps that Harry brought up how weird things are, since he could listen to harry's conversation what with being partners.]
[ Well, that's creepy as hell, thanks for that, Murdock. That sudden shift totally gives Gwen the heebiejeebies as she pulls back. Goddammit, Murdock. ]
Aw, man, what? I knew this was too good to be true.
[ Gwen stares at him, then down at his hand. At least she knows what the container looks like. But this sudden 180 is just as weird as it was over the pocketwatch, only worse because she's actually seeing it. In real time. ]
Is that why you were all 'invasion of the bodysnatchers'? 'Cause that was seriously weird.
Whatever was going on with you, it was pretty freaking obvious when it happened, trust me.
[ Like, even his body language got more... subdued. Closed off. Yikes. Gwen is looking at Matt like he's grown another head. The difference is so stark. ]
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer you like this to being all... emotional and self-loathy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
youretheworst) wrote2017-02-14 09:54 am
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[he takes a deep breath, trying to center himself against the wave of words that he just got from her. he has to try and be calm and reassuring. that'll definitely help.]
I've just been thinking, about a lot of things. About the way I've acted in the past.
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Gwen's not even remotely convinced this isn't some weird kind of trick. But somehow she figured he'd sound less genuine than this? He'd soak it up, wouldn't he? ]
And you're... just now realizing that you're a jerk? Is that what you're saying?
[ This is surreal, I tell u what. ]
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[i mean, it's not like it makes it any easier to be told it like that. but she's right - he has been a jerk. to her, especially. and that's, honestly, just like the tip of the iceburg]
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Did you... grow a conscience?
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[he's not sure he knows how to explain it either. maybe he does - but that seems existentially problematic. it's not that he wants to lie to her about the whole mirror thing, it's more that...he doesn't want it to be true. that this is only part of what Dil contacted them about. that he's not real, otherwise.
maybe it's not a lie. or if it is, maybe a lie to prove you exist, to prove you're real, is worth something. besides, in that case, you're lying to yourself more than you're lying to anyone else.]
I don't know how to explain it.
no subject
[ Growing a conscience seems a little more hardcore than playing music that speaks to their souls and tragic backstories. But then that's assuming what he's saying is true, which is a little hard to believe, even for how honest Matt sounds right now. ]
So let me get this straight. You had a weird change of heart, and now you wanna give me more power ups because... you're sorry? That's it?
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[that's more or less the truth, anyway. the city doing magic. a good, blanket answer.]
But yes. As a gesture of goodwill.
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[ Much less when you're being this strange, tbh. But that goes without saying. ]
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[ooooh wait for it we're going to get to everyone's favorite bingo space: matt murdock doesn't deserve to have friends]
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Ugh, just. Stop. Shut up if you're gonna keep talking like that. I think I liked it better when you at least pretended to be nice. That was normal.
[ She takes a deep breath. ]
If you're really offering though... I'm not gonna turn down free power ups. You wanna meet in the park or something? And I swear if this turns out to be some kind of trap, I'm gonna... web you to a lamp post or something.
[ I mean, her webs dissolve fairly quickly so it wouldn't be that cruel a punishment. She wouldn't actually punch him when he's her only source of powers. ]
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lmao i hate
stop
jesus
anyway ]
Yes, let's meet in the park. It'll be better for the mission, too, if you don't have to worry as much about using up the ones you've got.
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Fair enough. [ Gwen sighs. She starts packing up her things while she talks. ] Though I doubt I'll run into anything that needs super strength... But maybe I've been lucky, I haven't seen any of those monsters I keep hearing about.
[ This is probably a trap!! But on the off chance that it isn't, well. She's gotta. ]
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this is what you wanted ]
Better safe than sorry. I'll meet up with you soon.
> action
But not troubling enough for Gwen to turn back now. She makes her way to the park in her regular sweats. She's not going to advertise that Spider-Woman is here and working with Matt Murdock, duh. ]
Okay, Gwen. It's probably, definitely a trap but... you can do this.
[ Her spider-sense still works sometimes, right? It would definitely let her know if Murdock was about to turn a corner and run at her with a ninja star, right? ]
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no who are we kidding she gets the same mirror matt that she got on the phone - for now at least. hopefully her luck doesn't run dry before he gives her the goods. but he doesn't smile at her, or crack a joke or anything. he's just very serious. and very tired looking, too.]
It's not a trap.
[duh he can hear you]
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What. The. Hell. ]
Wow. You really must be sick, Murdock. Where's the sarcasm or the gloat about how I should know better than to show up?
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[he turns his head away from her, letting the word trail off and disappear while he puts together his thoughts. it's hard, to make a good case for this when at every step she seems more troubled, when this is better. this has to be better than the way he'd been doing things. than being all of your own worst enemies rolled up into one.
he can't fix it all. he knows that. but gwen...he can fix things with gwen, and that has to be something. that has to be a step in the right direction.]
I already told you, there's no other agenda here.
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[ Gwen still eyes him warily, though she steps closer anyway. If this is some weird temporary insanity, she'll be glad to take the power ups and run. ]
You feel bad for all the stuff you've done? Something tells me that's one heck of a list.
no subject
[the should should be so obvious - in the timbre of his voice, in the look on his face, in the weight of his shoulders. it's a ledger that's filled and filled in blood. in needless deaths and cruelties. in torture and in lies.]
But I can't -- [his voice catches. no, he stops himself. stops as he gets too emotional and he tries to reign it in. it probably doesn't work as well as he thinks it does.] I can't fix that. I can't undo all those things.
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[ She's never, ever seen him so... upset. Like, obviously upset. Any time Murderdock gets even close to showing emotion, he opts for terrifying instead. This whiny, self-loathy bullshit is very strange indeed. And it's honestly even creepier than his regular cheeriness. ]
What's your point? [ Seriously, all he's doing is... being pathetic. This is almost embarrassing. The less time she spends around this Matt, the better. He's bizarre and Gwen doesn't like it. ] Do you have the power ups or what?
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[he's surprised, that she doesn't want any part of it, when she deserved so many apologies. when she had been asking for so long for him to be less creepy. he reaches into his pocket to grab the contain with the power ups and pulls them out and
like it was ever going to be that easy
the mirror magic is unstable. mirror matt pulls out the container and just as he does the magic shifts and so, too, does his whole body language. he relaxes, becomes so much more lighter and then...
well, and then, understandably confused. his eyes narrow behind his glasses and his fingers tighten around the container with the power ups. the fuck is this, ruby city?? he has a vague sense - a sense that he'd come here to talk to gwen for a reason and this disgusting, bitter aftertaste of guilt (not to mention the obvious mess of emotions gwen is projecting) but the specifics are harder to recall.
seriously, not cool, city.]
So I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this has to do with Dil's message.
[it helps that Harry brought up how weird things are, since he could listen to harry's conversation what with being partners.]
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Aw, man, what? I knew this was too good to be true.
[ Gwen stares at him, then down at his hand. At least she knows what the container looks like. But this sudden 180 is just as weird as it was over the pocketwatch, only worse because she's actually seeing it. In real time. ]
Is that why you were all 'invasion of the bodysnatchers'? 'Cause that was seriously weird.
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Probably.
[he pockets the powerups for now. well this is awkward.]
Maybe we should come up with a sweet code-word. To make sure it's really us.
[matt no one is going to confuse your mirror for you i promise]
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[ Like, even his body language got more... subdued. Closed off. Yikes. Gwen is looking at Matt like he's grown another head. The difference is so stark. ]
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer you like this to being all... emotional and self-loathy.
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Then lets not keep talking about it. It sounds awful.
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