ic contact

[youretheworst]

(Gwen is a millennial, you better text her cause she sure ain't checking her pocket watch voice-mail)

Comments

[notthekingpin]

I told you before - I keep a metaphorical eye on S.I.L.K. Try and keep up.

[god spider-woman]

Why would you just leave it at home?

[how useless are you]

[youretheworst]

I didn't think... that meant you knew about different dimensions. Wow, excuse me for thinking that might, I dunno, blow your mind or something.

[ Since you're not a superhero?? Right?? ]

I didn't leave it. It wasn't there. It's normally in my bag with all my gear.

[notthekingpin]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[he takes a deep breath, and then very sarcastically:]

Wow, Gwen, there are different dimensions? Say it isn't so. I couldn't have ever predicted that from the way Spider-Woman just randomly disappears from thin air on rooftops and has lunch dates with friends where they talk about how truly different food is between here and there.

[ :) ]

Is that better?

[ a n y w a y ]

Kids - always forgetting their stuff, needing to have their hands held at every step.

[youretheworst]

[ Gwen crosses her arms and sighs, rolling her eyes so hard as Murdock goes on his little shtick. ]

TMI, I don't need confirmation that your ninjas stalk me all the time. But thanks. Thanks.

[ Don't give her that lousy kid talk when you say the word "hashtag" IRL. ]

Look, it was supposed to be there. I dunno where it went! Maybe whatever weird multiverse power that stuck us here took it. Maybe Bodega Bandit stopped being the worst criminal stole it. Point is, I don't have it, okay?

[notthekingpin]

Ninjas, S.I.L.K. agents on rooftops, S.H.I.E.L.D., police -- you've made a lot of friends. They just all have your back in non-traditional ways.

[its totally creepy]

Aw, Bodega Bandit. How's he doing? So sad about Bandito, am I right?

[youretheworst]

So you keep tabs on everyone back home?

[ CREEPY. SO CREEPY. Gwen tries her best not to shudder. She does not succeed. ]

Being here must be killing you without your web of ninja spies.

[ Yeah she is totally going to rise to that bait, too. Oh, Gwen. ]

He started a twitter campaign and used the money to buy his pug a new outfit. He's probably doing fine.

[ STILL THE WORST. ]

[notthekingpin]

That's a cute metaphor, coming from a spider-lady.

[he actually says this like he really does think it's cute. he does not take the bait. he is still 100% chill]

Good for him.

[youretheworst]

Ugh! That wasn't-- that wasn't on purpose!

[ Oops? But that's beside the point! ]

You sure you haven't already hired some rando to grab intel on everyone here? 'Cause that seems like the kind of creepy mob-boss thing you'd do.

[ Since you're, y'know, a mob boss. ]

[notthekingpin]

Sounds like a nice idea. Should I hire you?

[youretheworst]

No way.

[ Bad enough she's already in his debt, she doesn't need any more of it. ]

It's not like you can help my dad while we're here. You couldn't pay me to tell you the time of day.

[notthekingpin]

I am sensing some serious antagonism here. After I drew you that lovely Valentine and everything.

[youretheworst]

Murdock. You're an evil defense attorney who has actual ninjas at his beck and call.

[ Gosh, he's like some weird comic book character! ]

I may not know how you do all this stuff, but I know enough to know... you're the worst.

[notthekingpin]

Evil is a very harsh word.

[youre going to hurt his feelings]

[youretheworst]

You're sure not nice. And defense attorneys are all huge slimeballs, so don't take it personally or anything.

[ Even though it totally is personal. ]

[notthekingpin]

[wow?????]

Gwen, you're smarter than that.

[or maybe she's not. he lets the disappointment and that thought play out on his face for her to pick up - but it's all ofr show. he honestly couldn't care one way or another. he doesn't have anything top rove to gwen stacy ]

Either way - you should seek out Madam Lutece.

[youretheworst]

[ She's a cop's daughter and she's seen how you work, Murdock. All you do is keep criminals out of jail, wow!!!! Is this volume 5 daredevil ]

"Madam" Lutece? What for?

[notthekingpin]

Hey, I don't question the titles people pick for themselves, Spider-Woman.

[beat]

Where's the fun in telling you, though? You'll learn more if you have to experience it for yourself. Put those superpowers to work.

[youretheworst]

Sometimes the titles people pick for us are just more fitting, Murderdock.

[ Ya jerk. She snorts at his talk of "superpowers" though. ]

Am I supposed to 'tell her you sent me' or something?

[notthekingpin]

Honestly, I think that'll just confuse her but it does sound both ominous and menacing so I'm all for it.

[youretheworst]

Well, I'm sure not doing that now.

[notthekingpin]

Are you always this fun, or is this special for me?

[youretheworst]

Nope, I try extra hard for you.

[ Why are you even surprised, Gwen. ]

[notthekingpin]

I'm flattered.

[youretheworst]

[ This face. ]

Are we sure this place isn't hell? 'Cause I've had nightmares that aren't as bad as being stuck here with you.

[notthekingpin]

Better the devil you know than the one you don't.